TIRED, TIRED, TIRED

That's my theme for the last week. I am just plain old tired!!! I attribute the lethargic feeling to eating pretty crappy. I have easily been able to maintain a calorie level below 1600-1700 calories per day, but I am a wee bit (or miles) away from the "ON".

Here's the break down of crappy foods:

Sugar in my coffee
Milk in my coffee
1 slice of pizza
peanut butter and jelly on a pita
Cheese nips

Now I didn't go over board with anything and I know this is vast improvement from where I used to be, but still I would like to live life without these distractions. I guess what is also SO frustrating is that I know I have the will power to resist these things and they are not a necessity. I just have been on a pity party path, thinking I need or deserve these items because I am stressed or tired or frustrated.

Things at work have been loosening up a bit. Mostly because I have been speaking my mind a bit. My boss and I got into an argument about a project that he has been expecting me to finish. I have been waiting on a bit of direction from him. Actually our last agreement was that after his vacation we would meet and discuss the expectations of the project and then I would finish it. I think in his haste he forgot that discussion and just assumed the project would be finished. When I pointed this out, things were okay and we got to work on our discussion. I would never do this before. I would just be pissed off, harboring ill feelings. So I am glad to see a change taking place and it certainly lightens the burden a bit.

I am also feeling a bit better about my recovery. My sponsor and I have come to terms a bit better on our expectations of each other and communication is becoming slowly easier for me. I am forcing myself to really rely on the program and not just be a fly on the wall at meetings.

With a bit of needed rest this weekend and time to focus on preparing some simple dishes that can be used throughout the week, I am hopeful that next week will be a bit easier at fighting off those pity cravings. It's one day at a time for me.