RECOVERY

So not much posting lately. However, yesterday I did quite a bit of CR blog reading and thinking. There seemed to be a lot of confessions and sorrows of gak binges. I too had been thinking of making my great confession. After all being honest about what and who we are is the best way to make the sacrifice of change to better our lives.

I really enjoyed what Chris (cronology..link to the right) had to say about never giving up and realizing that each attempt, whether failed or not, brings us one step closer to our goals. There is a lot of wisdom to be learned from his post yesterday. In fact that "keep coming back" mantra is used in many 12 step programs. Basically, no matter what if you "keep coming back", eventually it will stick!

Well my confession is not just of eating gak and being lazy with my CR. I have a bit deeper confession to make. If I am not honest about this with you, I risk the chance of not being honest with myself, which could be detrimental to my recovery.

Ladies and Gentlemen;

My name is Carolyn and I am an alcoholic/addict.

I have battled with this for sometime. Thinking if I changed other aspects of my life; diet, exercise, geographical location, careers, etc...I could manage better and would not have to be in "recovery" to live a "normal" life. Well, I have attempted just about anything to continue to drink and use and this is no longer working. So, again, I have entered into the rooms of recovery and today have 8 days completely clean.

Now, what does this have to do with you or CR? Well quite a bit actually! The lack of alcohol and other substances in my body lead to horrible sugar cravings, lack of sleep, and several other physical side effects. I figure for me to be honest about the eight oreo's I ate last night, I had to begin by telling you why. I want to be able to honestly complete my COM for the day and post like everyone else, without the guilt and fear of someone not understanding where I am coming from and why. I have not been posting because I fear that I can not be honest.

This step of eradicating these harmful substances from my body will only encourage (in the long run) a healthier way of life and I am stoked about that! But...we live one day at a time.

So, just for today;

Breakfast:

1 cup Smart Start Cereal
1 cup Fiber One
1 cup Vanilla Soy Milk

Snack:

Almonds

Lunch: (thanks to every one's black bean suggestions!)

Grilled Chicken with
black beans and corn
fresh salsa
a tsp of FF sour cream

Snack:

2 Calcium Chews

Dinner:

Undecided, but probably something with chicken and veggies.


So my current CR state is to pay attention to what I am eating, but not to freak out about macro/micro nutrients and calorie totals. I making the basic changes, like not drinking high calorie drinks, eating lean meats, cutting out refined carbs, ect. I will enter all the info into the COM, but not really stress about it all. I know I will continue to stay healthy and loose a bit of weight, if I just pay attention!

Thanks for reading!