RECOVERY

So not much posting lately. However, yesterday I did quite a bit of CR blog reading and thinking. There seemed to be a lot of confessions and sorrows of gak binges. I too had been thinking of making my great confession. After all being honest about what and who we are is the best way to make the sacrifice of change to better our lives.

I really enjoyed what Chris (cronology..link to the right) had to say about never giving up and realizing that each attempt, whether failed or not, brings us one step closer to our goals. There is a lot of wisdom to be learned from his post yesterday. In fact that "keep coming back" mantra is used in many 12 step programs. Basically, no matter what if you "keep coming back", eventually it will stick!

Well my confession is not just of eating gak and being lazy with my CR. I have a bit deeper confession to make. If I am not honest about this with you, I risk the chance of not being honest with myself, which could be detrimental to my recovery.

Ladies and Gentlemen;

My name is Carolyn and I am an alcoholic/addict.

I have battled with this for sometime. Thinking if I changed other aspects of my life; diet, exercise, geographical location, careers, etc...I could manage better and would not have to be in "recovery" to live a "normal" life. Well, I have attempted just about anything to continue to drink and use and this is no longer working. So, again, I have entered into the rooms of recovery and today have 8 days completely clean.

Now, what does this have to do with you or CR? Well quite a bit actually! The lack of alcohol and other substances in my body lead to horrible sugar cravings, lack of sleep, and several other physical side effects. I figure for me to be honest about the eight oreo's I ate last night, I had to begin by telling you why. I want to be able to honestly complete my COM for the day and post like everyone else, without the guilt and fear of someone not understanding where I am coming from and why. I have not been posting because I fear that I can not be honest.

This step of eradicating these harmful substances from my body will only encourage (in the long run) a healthier way of life and I am stoked about that! But...we live one day at a time.

So, just for today;

Breakfast:

1 cup Smart Start Cereal
1 cup Fiber One
1 cup Vanilla Soy Milk

Snack:

Almonds

Lunch: (thanks to every one's black bean suggestions!)

Grilled Chicken with
black beans and corn
fresh salsa
a tsp of FF sour cream

Snack:

2 Calcium Chews

Dinner:

Undecided, but probably something with chicken and veggies.


So my current CR state is to pay attention to what I am eating, but not to freak out about macro/micro nutrients and calorie totals. I making the basic changes, like not drinking high calorie drinks, eating lean meats, cutting out refined carbs, ect. I will enter all the info into the COM, but not really stress about it all. I know I will continue to stay healthy and loose a bit of weight, if I just pay attention!

Thanks for reading!

I LOVE ALMONDS!!!

Best snack in the world! I swear!

Okay so nutritionally they have a lot of great pluses and minuses, but it's a great alternative to say....Oreo's.

Last night I had a sugar craving to die for and I stole some of room mates oreo's, ran to my room and gobbled them down.

Guilty, not really! Just prepared to fight off the cravings today a bit better. I have armed myself with ALMONDS!

They are a great tasting snack and usually the extra fat and protein really helps me to not eat a bunch a junk when I am not even hungry.

Also on the menu today;

veggie soup for lunch
snack of yogurt
calcium chews
dinner?

Well it's Friday and I have a coffee date with a friend and then a meeting, so I dunno...

But I was thinking last night as I lay in bed staring at the ceiling that maybe some black bean soup would be good. Or just black beans with salsa and some yogurt. Any ideas?

I think it is Haesal that eats sardine sandwiches.....was thinking of trying that for next week. Anyone have an opinion or tried it themselves?

FINISHED POUTING?

Okay I think I am over the pouting stage for today and feeling a bit more on track and positive about things as a whole. Thanks so much for all your kind words of support and understanding.

I have to say though I had quite the blow out with snacks yesterday. I decided that it was my party and I could cry if I want to. On my way to a meeting last night, I stopped by CT Muffin with the intention to grab a cup of coffee. Instead I decided I deserved a white chocolate mocha; full fat, full calories, full sugar...the works.

Funny how our bodies change. Even though I spent the previous 3 or 4 days not eating all that healthy, I still was low on the calorie/sugar side. Early on into my meeting I got the strangest head ache. I even started seeing stars. It wasn't just that I order a "regular", full strength mocha, but I also ordered the largest size possible and drank it in about 3 minutes! I know it wasnt the caffeine, because I drink coffee like a feen all day. It had to be the sugar. I actually thought for a second I was going to pass out. I had to read this huge thing in front of the group at the meeting and could feel myself shaking.

Needless to say; no sugar for me today! I think I have learned my sugar lesson.

Today I didnt have a great breakfast, but not all too bad either;

Turkey and Egg White on Toast
Diet Mt. Dew
16 oz Black Coffee

Lunch I had:

Quorn (yes I finally tried it) Stir fried with cauliflower and asparagus


Now I am eating my usual 1/4 cup of almonds and having a diet coke.

You know Quorn is super filling. I could not finish what I had fixed. Had it been the same amount of Chicken, I probably would have gobbled it down, no problem. And you know, it taste pretty good! I actually think tons better than tofu or maybe I am just not a good tofu chef!

Even though I know how important it can be, I am taking it easy with the COM. My plan is to get back into the habit of using it tomorrow. I know that I do not want to give up on my nutritional goals, but there are some other issues in life weighing on me that I do not want to compromise by obsessing or focusing on my nutrition too much.

So I think what I will do is concentrate on eating well in the same old routine CR kind of way and I will enter my data into the COM, but not necessarily have a calorie goal. Does that make sense?

You know I have surfed around on every one's blog today and you guys all seem to have great recipes. It's interesting to see how people fit different things into their diet. Robin; loved your post about going to Whole Foods and how happy your home was fully nutritionally stocked. The permanent changes and satisfaction you have found through CRON are something to admire and look forward to. Beautiful writing as well!

Okay gang! HAPPY SAPPY DAY TO ALL!

LONG TIME, NO BLOG!

So it's been a while since I have posted and I feel at a loss for words. I haven't been at home making up cool little recipes to share. I haven't been entering my daily intake into the COM, so I have no averages or numbers to share either.

So what does a CR girl gone wild talk about?

Well, there's not much to say other than I have fallen off the CR wagon (and many others) over the course of the last few days. The last day I entered into my COM was Saturday.

Do I feel guilty for not being a good little CR girl?

Um...well, not really. I know that feeling guilty will only keep me away CR. This is the longest time I have spent ad lib or better yet, just plain gakky (spelling?).

My diet since Saturday has consisted of; nothing on Sunday. Monday a rice and beans lunch from a local Jamaican restaurant and a regular Mountain Dew (gasp!). This morning (Tuesday) I have had black coffee and an egg and cheese sandwich.

So, not really horrible in the sense of bags of chips and chocolates, but not great by any means and certainly NOT nutritional.

The worst part and the part I should feel most guilty about is my last shopping trip. I bought some wonderful produce and a ton of avocados that I am sure are just simply going to go to waste. I hate wasting money and good produce. Makes me feel ungrateful or just plain wasteful and irresponsible.

So obviously the next step is just getting back on track with things. Whether back on track means continuing to attempt a CR lifestyle or adapting my new found nutritional education into something less strict, but good and healthy for me personally.

The effects of CR on my life and health have all been positive and great and I am not 100% willing to let that go. However, is that strict lifestyle too much for me to handle? Would it not be better to go about this a bit slower? Take my time and ease into it?

That's all TBD and will surely keep you all posted!

REGAINING MY BALANCE

Okay so today is Weds. Day 5 with Mr. Pabst and he is adjusting and doing fine. So is mommy. I feel like I am getting back on track with my CR and my life as a whole is coming into balance again.

It's not that I fret or obsess too much about it as a whole, but CR is working for me in obtaining my weight goals and I want to stay on top of that. Something I havent told you all;

I'M GOING TO THE DOMINICAN REPUBLIC FOR VACA ON EASTER!!!

I am so super stoked about going and I want to look and feel good about going to the beach!

So onward;

I have sort of come up with a new plan. Since I am having trouble in the mornings the most, I am from now on going to "skip" breakfast. I had already started doing this pre-Pabst because of just not being hungry. What I did was come to work, have my coffee and around 10:30 am, down my almonds. I think it is decent nutritionally and it really matches my natural hunger craving quite well. Then have a sensible lunch that is prepared the night previously and dinner at home. Possibly a yogurt and nut or seed snack and definitely my calcium chews mid day.

I think this is going to work well for me. I am just going to have to spend at least an hour a night planning the lunch and dinner meals well to make sure I am getting adequate nutrition.

Here is how today looks;

Morning:

2 16 oz black, no sugar coffees
1/3 cup almonds (a little larger than normal, but I waited too late and was famished)

Lunch:

One slice Turkey Meatloaf
Steamed Cabbage
Small Baked Sweet Potato (no salt)
12 oz. can diet coke

Dinner:

1 large serving of Chicken, White Bean, and Tomato Soup (428 calories)

So the totals look like this:

1086 Calories
87 g protein
102 g carbs
40 g fats

88% Vitamins
Slightly low on the B's and folate, so research to follow on how I can up that with dinner.

95% Mineral
Slight low on iron and potassium

So, looking up in the world of CR. I am feeling better about the whole thing.

EXCEPT;

Pabst is driving me crazy at work trying to knock the phone off my desk!!! Just kidding. He is just being playful and sweet!! More pics to come soon!

HELLO WORLD!!!

Hey there! Sorry it took me so long to get picks of Pabst up, but here ya go! You know some days I am not the sharpest tool in the shed. I had a bit of trouble figuring this whole picture thing out.

So here he is. In my little shoulder bag. He rides in here as we walk to work wrapped up in like 18,000 blankets because NY is FREEZING!!

He is really adjusting to everything quite well. I left him at home yesterday because I had meetings and a hair appointment and because it was just darn cold. I was worried all day that my neighbors would be waiting for me when I got home to kill me and the dog. I thought he would bark and howl in his kennel all day, but he did fine. He didnt poop everywhere and step in it. He just slept, chewed his toys, stayed quiet....Hell, he didnt even make a peep when I came in. He just looked at me.

I am constantly stressed about the puppy. I am so worried that something I do is going to scar him for life. This is the first animal I have ever had on the city. I was raised on a farm with tons of animals; chickens, cows, horses, dogs, cats. But the city is a scary thing. I just want to be a good mother and for my dog to be well behaved in public and around other dogs.

So, as far as CR is concerned, I have fallen down on the job a bit. I am not eating too terribly bad, but I have not been keeping track. I am not taking the time to enter all the info into the COM and I know that my nutrition is lacking. I know because I do not feel great. I am sluggish and can not seem to get enough sleep.

For example. I worked all freakin day yesterday and like April was subject to a cold office. COLD OFFICE. I work in an old warehouse in the Navy Yard area of Brooklyn. There is NO insulation and NO main heat source. I leave to walk home from work in the freezing cold and nearly die before I make it there. It's a decent walk. When I get home, I have kennel to clean, dog to feed, and have to spend at least 30 minutes on the floor playing. While I am fixing dinner, I am still playing with him; working on sitting and not jumping. Just talking to him in the baby doggy voice about my day. Finally, at 9:30 I get to eat dinner and had plans to develope Pabst's myspace page, but just couldn't keep my eyes open. So, alas, we headed for bed; he in his kennel and me in my bed.

I have to say, at least I am lucky to have a GREAT pup. He is already partially potty trained and he has no problems going into a kennel. He sleeps great through the night and is overall just a dream.

I just need to get my nutrition back on track so that I feel more energized each day and can deal with the little bit of added extra stress.

Okay blog world; thanks for letting me bitch!

SUNDAY! SUNDAY! SUNDAY!

Okay so Sunday is my day to plan for the week. Today I decided to make a few meals for the upcoming week that would bring a little variety to my life and make my daily eating a little less work, as the new pup is requiring quite a bit of my time.

I made two dished today and will share the recipes;


Tatta (this is my version of what Christina already made)

15 oz. part skim ricotta (no FF available)
2 oz. Parmesan cheese
2 whole eggs
1 cup egg whites
29 grams chopped fresh spinach
30 grams chopped fresh red pepper
55 grams chopped white onion
30 grams chopped mushrooms

The recipe I will split into 4 servings (large) and here is the break down;

235 calories
23 g protein
8 g carbs
11 g fat

Same basic vitamin and mineral info as Christina's. Over all just under 30% of each category. It's in the oven now and I can't wait!


TURKEY MEATLOAF


1.3 grams white/dark mix ground turkey
1/4 cup chopped onion
1/4 cup chopped green peppers
1/2 cup Parmesan cheese
30 g Kavli Hearty Thick Crackers crushed
1 whole egg
salt and pepper

Here's the simplified breakdown;

4 servings
291 calories
29 g protein
7 g carb
15 g fat

16% vitamins
23% minerals


These are two recipes I have been dying to try, but have just been procrastinating on. I am going to gobble down that tatta for lunch just as soon as it comes out of the oven. I will probably put a couple of tablespoons of salsa on top as well.

Pabst (the new pup) is doing good. We were up and down quite a bit last night, but overall it went fairly well. He is adjusting fine. I even left him today for my trip to the grocery and he was fine.

I am headed out shortly for some Super Bowl action. I actually turned down going to the original party that I was planning for something a bit more low key with just a couple of friends and some simple home cooking and wine. Pabst will also be attending as the couple I will be with are his aunt and uncle. Have a great Sunday everyone!!

AD LIB?

Okay so this week overall was not a great CR week. In my previous post I gave the run down of my weekly events. These events have proven to be quite a challenge for me and my CR lifestyle. I didn't do BAD, but this week was not great by any means either. I am sure my caloric intake was low, but not nearly as nutritious as it should be and I can feel it. Basically, I feel a little fuzzy brained, unfocused and exhausted. I also just feel kinda down. Not necessarily because I feel like a CR failure, but just down. Work is stressful right now, school is stressing me out, taxes, money, etc....

I do feel bad that I didnt enter all the info into the COM. I really wanted to do that, so I could have a good 30 day summary. I have to back track like 2 days, and that's not easy. You always forget something. So, do what you can and move on!

The silver lining to everything is I get my pup (Pabst) today. He is going to the vet for shots with his foster father this afternoon and after that, he is coming home to moma! I am so stoked. This whole month I have been gearing up for him. I even got rid of two peices of furniture to make room for his over sized kennel! He will be a good addition in my life and I welcome the responsibility. I look forward to spending time with him at home, on walks around the hood, etc. I am going to enroll him in the community PUPS program where he will be able to mingle with other K-9's and help raise money to clean up the parks and make them more pet friendly. Not to mention the attention from all the neighborhood women that he will help create!

So, aside from the SuperBowl bash tomorrow, I am almost clear of my stressful social obligations. Please let me just say, they are not stressful because of finger foods, but the booze. Something I need to try and elliminate a bit out of my life, CR or not.

Tonight at home I am going to be testing a couple of new recipes for this weeks consumption. Let's see; all goes well and I will post some recipes!

OH BLOGGER!

So, how was every one's CR Weds? I had off of work today to deal with my school BS. I actually ended up staying home most of the day and working from home. No rest for the workers!

I had a decent CR day. Nothing really overly nutritious. I did stay under my 1600 calorie mark, but was not doing any planned eating. More like snacking. I even had pop corn and a small glass of sprite. So again, nothing really nutritious about today, but at least I didnt eat like 1 million calories.

Thawing out some chicken breast now that I will broil for tomorrows lunch. I am thinking salad with avocado, chicken, salsa, maybe some roasted corn. I havent started crunching any numbers as of yet, but I will let the CR world know tomorrow how everything turns out. Breakfast, the obvious usual; egg whites, salsa, almonds, etc...

So something to look forward to; Emily (her blog link is to the left) is coming into town. Can't wait to meet another CR buddy face to face. We have plans for the 8th.

Other happenings to come;

Friends Apartment Fire benefit Thursday night @ Maggie Browns (cool little neighborhood cafe and bar)

Pabst (my new pup) is coming home for the first time Saturday night!

Next Saturday my BFF's birthday bash. We are having at a local bar where a good friend bar tends. I am "catering". I will probably do some homemade hummus, veggies and fruit trays, and probably wings (for the boys).

SUPERBOWL SUNDAY!! (and may I say, I hate football!) At my friend Dre's place. I will be cooking and he will mixing the cocktails.

I have some serious CR challenges ahead of me. I like that I get to be the cook though, because I can plan my CR lifestyle around the fun and no one will notice a thing!

So what's everyone doing for the SUPERBOWL? Any sports fans out there?

END OF THE DAY


Okay so this is how my day has ended;

Breakfast: I ate most of my egg whites, the whole tortilla, the cheese, and salsa and flax oil

Snack: Almonds and yeah I ate em all

Lunch: I ate half my salad and all the chicken that was on the salad

Snack: 1/2 mega muffin and two calcium chews

I drank about 2 16 oz coffees (give or take the last couple cold ounces) I drink it completely free of any additives (ie; sugar and cream, etc..)

I also drank about 64 oz of bottled polland spring water

Skipped my other yogurt snack and I am not planning on dinner!

That's it. I have no real appetite for dinner. I actually came home and fixed something, but I am saving that for lunch tomorrow.

So my totals look like this;

Calories 937
protein 72
carb 64
fat 52 (the only accomplished goal!)
vitamins 86%
minerals 88%

Still low on basically the same vitamins and minerals from the previous post.

So what do I have to do? I think I need to start using brewer's yeast. I have talked about it many times before and have thus far just simply procrastinated. Maybe also start using more flax and olive oil, but isnt that just going to raise my fats? Okay I have to work on this not hungry thing. I think still it probably has a lot to do with the whole period (yuk) thing, but usually my curbed appetite doesnt last this long.

Any ideas are graciously welcomed.

Tomorrow's lunch is a bit more exciting, so maybe that will cause me to eat a bit more. Still egg whites on the table for breakfast. Almond, yogurt, and mega muffin snacks. Lunch will be this great stir fry I made tonight of chicken breast, asparagus, cauliflower, brocolli, soy nuts, a bit of oil and soy sauce. Smells like a dream!

THE CRUNCH


Okay today was like this;

Egg White and Veggie Burritos, Black Coffee, Bottled Water c/o my favorite new Clinton Hill coffee shop.....Cafe Martino's.

Snack: 1/4 cup whole almonds

Dinner: Fabulous homemade jalapeno crab cake topped with salsa
1 whole sweet potato peel and all
225 grams steamed broccoli topped with flax oil


Dessert: 1 cup dannon light and fit


Crunch:

Calories 1209 81% (Aprils making go up to 1600 because apparently I am Amazon height)
Protein: 112 grams 90%
Carbs: 114 grams 88%
Fat: 46 grams 94%

Vitamins: 84% low on B1, Folate, B5, Vitamin D and K

Minerals: 92% low on Calcium, Iron and Potassium

So today is not a great day. I totally skipped lunch. I was out until that time and then came home, put away groceries and started painting. Next thing I knew it was 4 pm and I needed to pickup my laundry. That's when I downed the almonds. Now I am finishing dinner as I type.

I also decided to plan for tomorrow. Here's the run down:

Breakfast:

1 cup egg whites with mixed peppers, 2 tablespoons of salsa, 1 teaspoon of flax, 1 slice cheddar veggie fake cheese, and 1 flax tortilla from trader joes
1/4 cup almonds

Snack:

Yogurt with blueberries and 1/2 cup fiber one

Lunch:

HUGE kale and spinach salad with carrots, broiled chicken breast, flax oil and salsa!

Snack:

Mega Muffin with Mustard
2 Viactiv Calcium Chews

At this point I will be stuffed. Actually when I plan to eat a mega muffin in the after noon I usually have to force myself to do it. I dont feel uncomfortably full like I used to when it was pizza and soda, but full to the brim. I usually have a hard time fixing and wanting dinner. You know 1600 calories is hard. Where do you add the right things that are also going to give you the nutritional punch you are looking for. That I am still working on. For instance adding the tortilla in the morning. I used to not have it, but it helps me up my total daily calories by almost 140 cal.

Okay so Emily posted today about over estimating. I have been doing that too it seems. I just got in my food scale and 85 grams of kale is a lot of freaking KALE!! Same with my almonds. I used to just measure 1/4 cup, but when you go by grams, a 1/4 cup is less than 35 grams really. I was nervous at first and wanted to succeed, so I estimated way high on a lot of stuff, especially restaurant stuff (I will continue to do that). The food scale is great, but at the same time, I have no idea what I am going to do about just not being hungry. I can probably attribute the last few days of that to the whole period thing.

I am sure that no sooner than I type this my appetite will begin to explode and I will be craving some horrible or will not pack my lunch correctly and will end up ordering something not so great from some not so great restaurant. But honestly, if I can just stay away from the bars, CR has proven to be quite easy for me. Staying out of bars and locked up in my apartment, not easy! I have to maintain my social life, but find a way to not go over board and to still make good eating and drinking decisions.

Okay have a great Sunday night all....I am off to FINALLY watch .....Little Miss Sunshine!

CRS SATURDAY NIGHT FEVER!

Okay so I do not think you can use the term fever to describe the CRS meeting last night, but it was fun. I guess depending on your definition of fun. Although, I was by far the youngest, coolest member present, I had fun. Please if anyone at the meeting reads the coolest part and gets offended, don't. I just have a really sarcastic sense of humor.

The meeting was great, really. I think some were expecting a bit larger crowd, but I believe the number of people was perfect, given the location and the fact that it was a simple discussion and not a formatted meeting. Mostly people talked about their personal CR challenges (blood pressure, supplements, etc....) and received feed back from the other's on how to over come these challenges. There was also some talk about fundraising and up coming projects, but nothing specific and no definite plans were made on how this particular group could participate.

I would love to see a bit larger crowd and something a bit more organized. Maybe as the group grows we can pick particular topics and have speakers and then open discussion. In my past I have belonged to several groups that were better organized like this and it helped to grow and strengthen the group.

I look forward to working with the "key" people that are currently organizing.

With that said; the weekend has gone well.

Yesterday (Saturday) I got up and did a small bit of cleaning and then headed to Chinatown to the infamous Pearl Paint to pickup my two HUGE pieces of unstretched canvas for my art projects. I took them to my warehouse and primed them. While I was there, did a bit of work and then headed home to prepare myself for the meeting. (Prepare means change from wholy paint jeans to slacks)

Went to the meeting

Came home and crashed!

You know I havent had an appetite at all for the last two days. I was feeling achy and started to think that maybe I was getting a bug, because my stomach was all queasy. Yesterday I had a simple soup for lunch and that was it. Until I got home, found some chocolate cake my roomie had and took a couple of bites. Then I realized what was going on because I NEVER crave chocolate! I think most of the girls have caught on by now.

Low and behold; this morning I was paid a visit from the period fairy! Jeesh! So that explains it. Still do not have much of an appetite, but I forced myself to down a black coffee and egg white burrito from my favorite cafe. Egg whites, veggies, and salsa. I pick it out of the wrap. Save those calories for later.

Now that the fairy has come, the loss of appetite will pass and all will go back to normal shortly. I headed out for some Trader Joe shopping now. Going to try some quorn! I know I said that before, but this time I am telling the truth.

Until later....

SHUCKS!

So no trip to DC this weekend. Everyone bailed on me (after I already paid for the freakin hotel!). I thought about still going, but honestly it is cold as shit and I would love to go the CR meeting here in NYC on Saturday night. When I said yes to going to DC, I didnt even notice that I would then be missing the CR meetings, so maybe it's karma. Maybe some god or power is telling me I need to go to the CR meeting. There are all kinds of things to protest and I am sure I will have no trouble finding another rally somewhere closer to attend that will not interfere with my very first CR meeting!

So now the weekend plans look like this:

Friday night; crash! Not going out considering my late night on Weds. When I got home last night I had to clean up a bit and prepare for today's meals. I crashed about 10 pm, but could have slept a lot longer. Friday night is catch up night!

Saturday; get up EARLY! I have a trip I need to make to the library, need to visit my puppy (He's still with his mom. I will get him full time next week :)) Laundry. Need to work in my office at least 2 or 3 hours. CR meeting. Maybe a cocktail with the boyz after.

Sunday; Art! I have two pieces that have been lingering in the back of mind to create. I am not a real artist (in the trained since) but I like to dabble around with large pieces of canvas, big brushes and crazy paint and newspaper cut outs. Hey, it fills the walls of my apartment! You guys will appreciate them when I am famous! I also have a HUGE collection of punk record label stickers I would like to mount. I picked up this men at work sign (DOT) off the side of the road the other day and I think that will make a perfect backing for the stickers. (My landlord also appreciates me keeping the stickers off his fridge)

So there's the weekend wrap up. What is everyone else gonna be doing this weekend? Who if anyone that blogs is going to the CR meeting?

GLOBAL JUSTICE, NOT WAR!!!

Okay so this is NOT a political post. Just want to you all this weekend I am hopin down to DC for the Peace Rally. Meeting up with my mom and aunt. They are driving up from NC. I am totally stoked about going.

First big rally in DC for me. Staying right in Dupont Circle. Making posters tonight at home!! I am packing tonight so I can leave straight from work. I am a bit proud of myself (I am such a bragger). I am also packing some awesome CR treats. Every day stuff, almonds (pre measured and bagged up separately), yogurt, and mega muffins. I am just really excited that I am taking the time to really change my habits.

The one habit that has not changed; bars. Went out last night for a "hot second" or what I thought was going to be short and got convinced to go for "lesbo night" at another local bar. Had a blast, didn't get too crazy, but got home WAY late. WAY late. So work is a bit of a drag today. I ran out the door this morning without my usual fixin's of egg whites and soup, but my food intake is fine and I will have a great homemade dinner when I get home.

Short post.

HELP?!?!

Okay here is my plan for tomorrow....Obviously posting because I want some feed back. I know I am getting the hang of this, but feedback is awesome. After all that is why we blog, right??

Meal Plan:

Breakfast:

1 cup egg whites with roasted corn and green pea mixture I made. Teaspoon of flax oil. Tablespoon of salsa.

Snacks (through out the day in no order):

1/4 cup of almonds
Dannon Light and Fit yogurt (plain)
Mega Muffin

Lunch: Faithful Cabbage Soup

Dinner: Turkey cutlets with cooked spinach (flax oil) and boiled green peas

Here's the nutritional crunch:


calories: 1519 (Aprils up suggestion)
fat: 36%
protein: 32%
carbs: 31%

Okay so low on carbs, but from what I understand not a bad thing, but maybe high in fat? Here is the fat break down;

Omega 3: 708%
Omega 6: 73%
Saturated: 40%
Cholesterol: 46%

So the fat is high, but it's the good fat, right? or no?

Here is the vitamins and mineral in general:

Vitamins: 99%
Minerals: 98%

Forgot to add earlier that I am adding 2 calcium chews per day. That is the only "supplement".

So not too bad, but here are the details;

B12 is low at 83%
Iron 91%
Potassium 86%

Everything else is high, but not too high (not in the red!)

What is close to being in the RED is Sodium, Vitamin A and Vitamin K.

So can anyone sum this up for. I see where I am lacking and have played with this quite a bit trying to get things to even out. I do not think I am that far off, but would love to know if anyone here sees anything to get worried about or any easy "fix it's".

Thanks so much again for everyone's support!!!

QUORN?

Nope! Didn't stop tonight and pick it up. I was in a mad rush to get home and listen to old Georgie's "state of the union". I am super stoked about going tomorrow and pick some up.

So I had a bit of a "chat" with April today about my CR goals. She thinks I need to be shooting for 1600 calories per day as opposed to my 1200, because of my height. She is right, I know. Also I know my numbers are not 100% because I have not been weighing everything, but measuring in cups and ounces. I know I am surpassing my 1200 calorie quota already.

As sad as it maybe that I will soon have to weigh and up to 1600 a day, I will. When you start CR and you are a bit heavy, and like Chris (cronology) says, waiting for that slender, beautiful body to merge, it's easy to set your calorie goals too low. For a minute you think, fuck longevity, I wanna be skinny and I wanna be skinny NOW!

But that is not why we do CR, is it? I honestly would love to loose the weight and regain confidence and self esteem. However, I know that to truly do that, a lifetime of healthy living is needed. Otherwise, why not just start a cocaine addiction or some stupid fad diet pill?

I have impressed myself with what I have learned and it shows. People around me that were very skeptical of this whole "restriction" word, now are very supportive of me. They see my cheeks slimming, my moods stabilize, my mind focus, and most important, my dedication. My coworkers are impressed that I show up daily to work with my complete breakfast, lunch and snacks packed, planned out and most importantly, that I do not deviate.

CR is great! In so many ways. It's so early for me, but I am so excited (singing from the mountain top, excited) about the future. I can not wait to go home in April to visit my family and to have them notice the difference in me as well. I can't wait to start school and know that my mind is sharp and focused. I can't wait! I can't wait! I can't wait!

But I will........

Until then, good night CR cronies!

REBUTTAL

Okay why does it make more sense to freely eat processed foods (gak), heavy creams, delicately fatty desserts, etc and have to exercise like a work horse to maintain "optimal weight", then it does to follow a CR diet? It just seems easier to be well informed about the foods you eat (not obsessive as some proclaim CR is). Makes more sense to go back to nature and adopt the eating habbits of our ancestors. Makes more sense to relax with a glass of wine (knowing it's only 150 calories and easily fits into your CR's day) then it does to sweat your but off for hours upon hours per week on the treadmill.

Now, I do not down exercise at all. I love walking, biking, swimming, yoga, etc. But I find that most people's alternative to CR is exercise. We are a society that is obsessed with gym memberships, exercise machines and videos, and McDonalds. Make sense?

To each their own!

"I am one stomach virus away from my goal weight."

-Emily (The Devil Wears Prada)

I FOUND QUORN!!!!

Okay so last night on the way to an art show, I stopped by the little local health food store to search for calcium chew, which they didn't carry. I walked around a bit, browsing and found in the freezer section QUORN! I have looked everywhere for this stuff (okay not really that hard, but on various shopping sprees) and have not spotted it anywhere.

I didn't pick it up last night, I just thought it would be weird walking around the Pratt gallery with my bag full of QUORN. So tonight on my walk home, I will stop by and pick some up. A little nervous about eating fungus, but hey why not?

So the art show last night was great. My friend Brian's art is awesome. He had laptop's set up to showcase his video work and had some great 60"x60" screen print paintings. I am haggling with him now to get a piece for my apartment. (You know I need to figure out to post pictures so I can share stuff with you guys!)

So today is a pretty basic day;

Egg Whites with TJ Salsa and Flax Oil

Almond and Yogurt Snack

Mega Muffin

Cabbage Soup

Same old stuff. However boring it may sound to other readers, I am getting really used to it. I am not craving other foods so much. I think I can eat egg whites for breakfast for the rest of my life and be perfectly happy. There are so many ways to cook an egg, so many veggies that can be added and GOD know's I LOVE SALSA!!! I bought some flax seed wraps from Trader Joes, so I think for dinner I will have yet another egg white omelet with salsa, but I will eat it like a burrito for variety.

One craving I did have, but easily shrugged off was orange juice. I have a little cough, not major, but thought a good dose of vitamin C would help. My mind immediately started focusing in on orange juice. I love the pulp, the sweetness, that great orangy flavor. When I got to the store this morning and starting reading lables, I realized it just was NOT worth it. I got a black coffee instead and reminded myself my diet is already pretty high in vitamin C.

I want to find out more about fresh sqeezed. I think one of those stainless steel old fashioned sqeezers would be a great addition to my kitchen decor, for one and maybe the fresh sqeezed would be substancially lower in calories. Research time. The other juice I would like to know more about, but there seems to be little around is wheat grass shots. I used to do it all the time when I was having some digestion problems. Anyone have any info; I am all ears!

SUNDAY'S PLAN FOR MONDAY

Okay so I have been working on my cron-o-meter trying to plan my week, but mostly Monday. I am really happy with my results. I was able to really up my protein without going over board on calories. My original goal was very ZONE like. 30/40/30 and it's getting much easier for me to find that balance. My vitamins and minerals are looking great as well. Still not 100%, but damn close from just basic foods. Here what tomorrow will look like;

1050 calories (saving room for a midnight snack attack or whatever else may come up)

99 grams protein (HELL YEAH)
98 grams of carbs
36 grams of fat (could be a bit higher, so that snack attack will probably be almonds)

98% of daily vitamins
95% of daily minerals


Here is what I plan to eat;

Breakfast

Egg Whites with chopped green onions and TJ salsa


Snack:

Yogurt

Lunch:

homemade cabbage soup

spinach, turkey, egg white salad with sunflower seeds and salsa

Snack:

Mega Muffin (savory)

Calcium Chew some where in the day



Okay so dinner is not listed. I am finding that I rarely have an appetite for dinner. I try to get the majority of my calories over and done with early. I have heard this has great results as far as lasting through the day, cutting down on unnecessary snacking, etc...and like I said, I rarely have the appetite. Plus I work long, late hours, so the pre planned healthy large breakfast, lunch, and snacks seem to make sense. I do not think saving 300-400 calories for a large dinner at 8-9 pm are necessary.

Now, with this plan, I can work comfortably, come home have either a low calorie snack or a glass of wine, or both :), do my blogging or reading and head to bed.

The thing that is really bothering me, is not being at 100% with my vitamins. What I am obviously lacking on is calcium and vitamin D. Now I just read today that Salmon is very high in D. I like that low calorie, high protein option for maximizing D. I will try to add salmon into my weekly diet now, maybe like 2 times per week, unless someone knows of any health risk associated with this.

If you have any other ideas on increasing calcium and vitamin D, I am all ears. The other low vitamin is B 12. I need to still research all of these quite a bit, but I am sure I will find a solution. I really do not want to supplement! If I can fix these couple of things, I feel I will be doing great. Right now all my other vitamins are off the charts just from food.

Other than that I am very pleased with my weekend. I got a lot accomplished in my apartment. I watched a good movie. Did quite a bit of walking. Listened to some great music and now tonight I am going to relax with a green tea and Frontline (PBS). Hope you all enjoyed your weekend!

CHERRY POPPIN!

So I went to the infamous Trader Joe's today for the first time (hence the title). It was a great experience. I really love the store and I think I will continue to go. Maybe once a week, but never again on a Saturday morning. I bet all of Manhattan was in that place!

I got some pretty basic stuff;

pasturized crab meat
almonds
sunflower seeds
jalopeno's
green onions
frozen chicken breast
frozen organic corn
and a few other things, I now can't remember

The prices were awesome. Especially the crab meat ($8.99). The cheapest I have ever bought that was $14.00. So, overall I was pretty pleased.

Now one thing that bothered me about the store was some of the packaging. I don't think that the veggies should all be pre packed in little plastic containers and bags. It's just over packaging. Most of these items in other stores would just be loose. I have no idea what their reasons are for doing it that way and there may be a completely reasonable, environmentally friendly answer. I'll find out!

My Saturday has been great, with the trip to TJ's just being icing on the cake. I woke up early and dropped my laundry. Then I came home, had some coffee and did some basic straightening and cleaning. Then off to TJ's. When I got home, I put all my groceries away and started builing my new shelves. Can you believe it....I finished them?!?!? AND they look great! I have had these shelves purchased, painted and waiting for like 2 months. I am stoked to finally have them up. I also assembled my new dog crate, did some sticker decorating, and did some deep cleaning.

Now here's the sad part of the day; Just now I went out to buy some diet cranberry juice. I figured I deserved a cocktail to celebrate my hard work. I went to 3 different stores within 3 or 4 blocks of here searching for the cranberry juice. NO LUCK!! I live in a prodominately poor hispanic neighborhood in Brooklyn. All I could find was the super sugar drinks. I began looking around the stores a bit more and noticed that they did not carry any bottled water in the coolers that was larger than the standard 1/2 liter. All the ready to drink, chilled beverages were super packed, full flavored. There was one store that didnt even carry diet pepsi or coke in the cold case. AMAZING!! And it's not just drinks. These stores had limited produce, if any, but their candy and snack isles were HUGE!!! The frozen pizza and other gak goods were in abundence. No wander people feel like they have no choice or just do not know any better.

I usually do not shop in my neighborhood anyways. There is a great store by my office and I usually stop there on my way home. I will continue not to shop in this neighborhood, too. I wrote about this a few days ago in relation to the NY transfat band. I do believe the band is credible and should be in effect, however, the more I look around the more I realize MORE MUST be done! NY has to find a way to offer good wholesome food in every neighborhood, regardless of race or economical structure.